Marriages are made in heaven? !

Shyam was very excited about his marriage being fixed. With all joy, happiness and expectations he lay on his bed dreaming about his to be wife and their life after marriage… And, eventually dozed off.

In that blissful moment, God appeared in his dream. Shyam got so delighted seeing God. God spoke to him : “ You must be knowing that marriages are made in Heaven, I am here to greet you a very happy married life. In accordance to the same, I can grant you any boon you ask for. Ask me whatever you feel, can help you lead a very happy married life.”


Shyam was all the more thrilled about this offer and decided that he had to make the best use of it. So, he started to list.


Shyam: Well, First and foremost I want my wife to love me to the core as now & forever till death.
God: Great! Is that the only thing you want?
Shyam: Not only that. I have a big list. She has to appreciate me and support me always and help me achieve all the success in my career and my family. She should know me from head to toe and empathize with me when any decision has to be taken. She should take care of me like a child, listen to my problems and be a good companion to nurture my interests and talents, be health conscious, take care of me & my family members and be loyal and honest with me. Above all she should tolerate any of my mistakes or when I am in mood out/sad, with all the patience, she should guide me in the right path with an ever- smiling face. She should know whatever I like and always keep me happy with sweet surprises and lots of happy moments.
God: I am happy that you have understood the essence of marriage. I shall grant you this boon provided you answer right for my two questions:
Question1: Do you possess all the above qualities you asked your wife to have?
Shyam: Well… not all. But, yes I possess at least half of it.
God: All right !!
Question2: If you have to entirely cultivate all these qualities completely in you, how long do you think it will take for you?
Shyam: I am sure that if my wife is given all these qualities, it will not be difficult for me to reciprocate.
God: Shyam, it will not be fair and right on my part to give you someone who is full of love when you are at times hostile, or a person so caring and understanding when you are at times selfish or not ready to empathize.


Marriage is a lifelong education. It is where you and your partner make adjustments and aim not merely to please each other but to be better human beings. A perfect relationship cannot happen overnight. It is a lifelong pursuit.
I cannot give you a perfect partner because you are not. However, I will give you a partner who can grow along with you all the qualities you are looking for and become the PERFECT SPOUSE you wish for.

The secret of a happy married life is that, it has to be a team work by both of you to fulfil each of your expectations mutually. As it is rightly said:” Be to the other person as you would wish them to be to you”. So is the philosophy of marriage too.

If both of you understand this and work towards grooming yourselves, the PERFECT relationship will be achieved in a very short period of time. But if one of you is not ready to bend, it has to be the responsibility of the other person to keep showering their love so that the reciprocation happens some time. However, if both are not ready to bend, it is not the marriage that gets broken but the relationship. That is where the essence of marriage is lost.

Shyam: I understand that I have been so selfish in expecting only the other person to bend when I had not even considered grooming myself. This is indeed a wonderful insight that helps me understand that I have the sole responsibility to create the happiness which in turn will be reciprocated by my spouse and other people around me.
God: Absolutely. It is true that marriages are made in Heaven. But, Perfect relationships are not made in Heaven. They are created on earth over a period of time.

Be the Creator

One Sunday morning Shyam and his sister Chinnu were playing in their garden with sand. They were busy creating various animals, birds and flowers using the moulds that their dad had presented them that new year. Chinnu exclaimed “Look !!! I have created so many things. A bear, my favourite rabbit, a crow, doggy, elephant and a lotus”. Then she looked at Shyam perplexed and asked: “Why have you not used the moulds? You have not created anything ! What are you doing with the sand?”
Shyam looked at her and asked:” Can your rabbit jump? Can the doggy you created play with you?” Chinnu interrupted. “Stop ! they don’t have life. Only God creates the creatures with life. “ Shyam explained:” Well in that case, I have created a life now. I have buried a mango seed inside the ground just now and have watered it. You know, one day my seed will grow into a huge tree and give us fruits.” Chinnu was overwhelmed and excited about her brother’s creation of life. Till that day she did not realise that every man is given the potential to become God “The Creator”. She told her brother that she was very happy about his creation.
They ran to their mom to share that happy news. Their mom appreciated their effort and said that their job is not just over with the creation. The next step is the most important step where they have to nurture their creation to help it grow and attain its fullest form.
So every day they watered it and ensured that everything possible for it to grow is done. They did for two complete weeks. And, nothing happened. They were very disappointed and told their mom that they were frustrated that their efforts were not paid off. Their mom assured them that no effort will go on toss and also told them that having done their part, they have to have the patience for the invisible and empowered nature to respond for their action. With all the hope they continued to act and one fine day, there was a sprout protruding out of the soil. Shyam and Chinnu jumped in joy on seeing their first creation of life pop out of the heavenly mother earth.
We start our life as a cell and in just two months, all the major organs begin to function when the baby is only a size of a bean. In just 9 months, we are complete and out as the sprout into the hands of the Mother (Earth). Each of us are like the seed sown by God into our mother’s womb. Seldom do we realise the extent of nurture that God gives us from the conception with all the hope that one fine day we will use all our given potential and grow up to bear and share the fruits of life. Yes ! God can only nurture us. It is our responsibility to utilize the potential inside us to grow and attain the fullest form in life.
So, let us start utilizing the creator inside us. Let us create our purpose as dreams, nurture them and see them grow into bliss and success in our life. Start now ! Be the creator of your life !!!

Questions to change life

I just entered home and my 5 year old niece came running to me with a scenery picture and a paint box asking me to teach her to paint. I was very happy that she had the hope that I knew to paint. As I settled down to with her and opened the picture her questions started flowing out. For each colour I suggested her, there was a series of “whats” ,“whys” & “Hows” some of them are: “How is it possible for the mountain-top to have snow? Why shouldn’t pink colour be given to the lawn fence? Why should the bird be painted with black only? Can’t it be a parrot! What is the man doing near the river? etc…

After trying to answer all her whats, whys & hows I only got one question in my mind . “Why” is that I have stopped asking questions for all that I do after I grew in age? The three main Questions which is essential for all actions and thought processes we undergo “What”, “Why” and “How”. “What” is the most basic question that just describes something. It provides a raw form of knowledge. “Why” is the source of understanding and is the one which can quench the knowledge thirst. “How” normally crops up when we are convinced to implement or improvise something based on our knowledge of “What” and “Why”.
If only these questions are to be applied to all that we do in life… It would be: what am I doing? Why do I do this? And how can I achieve that? Or how well can I do this? At any point of time, trying to answer these questions pertaining to our thoughts and actions in our life can change the perspective of our life and give us a purpose for living. I had once read an article that stimulated my thinking with regards to answering the question of “What” and “Why” of life. It stated that “To find out your goal in life, think about what action /deed of yours can make you happy to the extent that you would love to do it anytime, even without a pay, where actually it can be paid for”. By knowing the answer for this, the question of “How” to get to it can be automatically pondered upon. This invoked my thought. Each and every person will have something close to their heart; something that they love deeply or something that they have a passion for. If only they give importance to this conscious thought, they can shine through their life.
One of my friends was working in a BPO firm, realized that her life was getting painful day by day. I then asked her to think on these lines. She told that she loved teaching. She wanted to see new people day by day. She joined in a training institute and now that she has started a training consultancy and is earning thrice as much as she was earning before in a happy way. Another friend of mine was a homemaker. However she felt that her life was too empty the whole day. I asked her the same question. She told she loved babies. Now that she has started a crèche and is leading a happy life. Another friend of mine had a passion to make money. Though his job did not suffice that, he had started on hobbies like share market and other out-door marketing. Similarly each of us will have a passion deep inside us which is left idle and we keep doing things that we perceive to bring happiness and prosperity to us. There should be one fine day when we question ourselves on all our actions and thoughts. This would awaken our passion and open our blindfold to a better sight of life. We have live examples of people who have proved to be shining stars taking their career as per their passion. We have Good singers, dancers, actors, writers, sportsperson, entrepreneurs and many more eminent people in the field of cooking, painting, aircraft, mountaineering and many more.
When questioning ourselves on our thoughts and actions can make our life better, questioning ourselves on the perspective of others can help us solve our problems and improve our relationships. Normally when someone hurts us, we immediately get offended by the words they use/ the way they hurt us instead of questioning ourselves as “What is that leading this situation? “ “Why is the person acting this way?” By knowing the answer for these, we would automatically work find out “How to resolve it?” Again this can also be observed in a child. When a child is scolded or beaten for something she is sure that she is right, she immediately asks “Why are you beating me?” or “what is the cause for your anger?” and that little mind will work on the “How to correct it?” factor immediately when it is satisfied with the answers for its “What’ and “Why” questions. So lets bring into play that quality of asking questions we possessed since childhood that had helped us grow this long, with the hope that it is going to help us even better in future. Let us start to explore ourselves for a better living with better relationships!!!

HIDE AND SEEK

One sunny morning as I walked through the gates of the school, my eyes captured those colorful children of different age groups in various clusters occupying almost the entire ground. Each group was involved in some activity that made them feel as free and happy as butterflies. The children in one group formed a queue to resemble a train and ran all over the ground in a chain fashion producing the sound of a train. Tiny tots in another group were holding hands and singing a song happily. One set of children were totally occupied in an orchestra rehearsal. One boy was singing a beautiful song, one playing the guitar, another on the keyboard and yet another on the drums. Wow!! That was a superb melody. I learnt that the Cultural Day for the school was arriving soon and hence there were lot of other rehearsals of skit, mimics and novelties going on side by side along with the orchestra. The talents of these beautiful little children really amazed me.


As the bell rang for the lunch break, all the children started to move, took their respective plates from the stand and then formed a queue. One by one they started moving into the dining hall and once all were settled, they recited a prayer and the food was served. I could see no one talking or playing when they were taking the food. I was very surprised at the discipline of those beautiful children. As they completed eating, they started to move one by one, washed their plates and kept it on the stand in the respective places allocated to them.

Later, they moved to their respective classes and I happened to visit one of the classes. The teacher asked all students to introduce themselves with their name, hobby and ambition in life. One told that he wanted to become a great singer, another a teacher in the same school, then one wanted to become a politician, a lawyer, a musician, and the dreams simply flowed on. From their hobbies list, I learnt that each of them was talented in some way or the other. Once the intro session got over, the teacher started English class and a boy was asked to read chapter_1. The boy started reading fluently and when he completed, his classmates applauded and he sat down with a smile. I tried to take note of one of the books. However, the Braille book was Greek and Latin to me. I literally could not recognize any distinct letters even when I tried to feel the punches in the book.

I could see smiles and aspirations in the face of each child. However, my heart sank deep with the thought that these tiny wonderful gifts had been deprived of viewing this beautiful world. One dark day in our life would have simply ruined our entire attitude towards life. But, the courageous hearts of these precious gems really allured me. They never knew a color in their life other than black. Anything and everything they could see in their life was only one color” Black”. Their lives being just a game of hide and seek, without even a slight knowledge that there is a colourful world better than this game. India being a traditional country with a high population of about 1.1 billion, out of which 12 million are blind and of these 3million are corneally blind and can obtain eyesight through corneal transplantation. Again, unfortunately 1 million of those are children. For these children if corneal transplantation is not done before the age of 10 years, they will be doomed into a state of permanent irreversible blindness. I realized that I could also help these little souls to lead a normal life seeing all colors in this world, by registering myself in the nearest Eye Bank, to donate eyes after my death. If each of us could take up this as a responsibility and educate our family members, neighbours and friends about the importance of eye donation, definitely we could help in bringing light into the dark world of those charming souls, and consequently we will be privileged to enjoy the beauty of this world even after our death. Let eye donation become our family tradition. Help bringing out the hidden light that these people are seeking for. Please pledge to Donate Eyes and also motivate others!!!

PEACE OF A CHILD

As I was travelling in a bus, a woman sat next to me with her cute little sweet baby. The baby had chubby cheeks, tiny pink lips and its innocent beaming eyes simply mesmerized me!!! When I saw its tiny lips curve to smile at me, I simply felt my age shrink to that of the baby. I experienced an overwhelming joy in me.

In the jerk of the bus, suddenly the baby started to cry and my heart started to melt like wax as I saw the tears roll down the pink chubby cheeks. Then I observed the mother making sounds equivalent to that of the baby thinking that, it was the language the baby could understand. The baby then paused to hear the various sounds her mother produced. Whenever she liked a sound, she acknowledged it with a tiny curve and when she didn’t like the sound, she continued with her wail. Once the tiny tot made her mom completely tired, she started to take notice of other people around her. The tiny hands now caught hold of the sari of a woman who was standing next to her. When the women turned around to glance thinking who was the culprit, the little one gave one of her naughty smile and now the woman started to talk the baby language. I could now see beaming joy in the eyes of the woman.

As I got down from the bus and walked through my street, I saw a small boy aged 4 with a bat nearly to his height, shouting to a 30 year old child (presume his dad) to throw the ball. The big child came running forward with a weightless plastic ball and threw with all his force. On seeing the ball surpass him, the 4 year old boy threw the bat down and went running to catch the ball. Of course the 30 year old followed. Later a small discussion took place and the 30 year old child was now with the bat. Guess Mr. 4 year had probably blamed him that he didn’t know to throw the ball and that a coaching was required. Now this super hero came running and threw the ball with all his might and the ball hit the centre of the bat and flew high in the air. At the sight of it, both of them jumped with immense joy.

As I was enjoying the game, I realized how happy people are when they become children. Each of us have our own hidden child inside us no matter how much our age adds to. Every minute this child peeps out, we experience a seamless joy in our heart that becomes, as light as feather. We were all so peaceful at heart when we were a child. But where has the peace gone now??? Then I thought for a moment about that small piece of Child’s heart that gave peace. An innocent heart that bore no worries or sorrow or ego or jealousy or hatred, a heart that didn’t know to hide anything, a true smile always in the lips with the curiosity to learn more and more and most important of all a heart with no expectations or fear. As a child we never knew to blame about whatever happened to us. We never remembered anything bad that happened to us and did not keep worrying about it. We lived in the present and cherished every moment. Even when we fell down, we got up and kept trying persistently at what we wanted to achieve. Failure had never affected us. We had hope and faith in our parents & elders and always paid attention to their words. As a child we had a heart to accept anything and everything that happened to us and forgave anyone easily. We had never accumulated any bad experience that made us worry. We never hesitated to share our emotions truly to anybody we met. It is that beautiful mind and transparent heart that gave us immense peace during those days. When we were Children, we were so effortlessly peaceful but now it will definitely take a lot of effort in re-creating that small piece of Child’s heart in us that can give us immense peace. However one short-cut to become a Child at heart is “Leave your Ego”….

CANDY LOVE

As I was walking back to my hostel after a very weary day in office, I saw a small boy stroll a heavy vehicle selling cotton candy. I was immediately reminded of how I would run calling out for it when I was a kid. For a moment I became a kid. I called out to the boy and he stopped. I asked how much does one cost. He didn’t speak. He just showed his five fingers and I understood it was Rs.5/ per candy. I told him to give 5 packs of cotton candy so that I could give to my friends in hostel also. As I had Rs.30/, I thought I could get one more and asked him to give one more. He didn’t speak. He was busy packing them for me. Finally, he declared he had given six as I gave him the money. With a smile I thanked him.As I turned to leave, he called me and gave me one more. I didn’t know how to react and asked “Why?”, but felt very happy as he told me to take it. I realized the power of a simple smile and the impact it can have on others. He never spoke a word more than necessary. He never smiled back whenever I smiled at him. However just showed his love through the act of giving more than what I needed.Love is everywhere and inside every human being. Its just that we human try to search for giving it to a particular set of people or sometimes only one person labeling “Special” and brood over when they do not reciprocate the way we wanted. When love is given to all people we meet without any expectations, we are not only bringing out our hidden love but also making the love in the other person blossom. “Love” is universal. Keep giving to all and let the world blossom with the fragrance of Love.

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

Where is beauty in life?

In our daily lives we see the green trees, we have the clouds moving above our head, we hear the birds sing in the morning, we have the sunrise and the sunset, we have the moon peep in the night and the stars blinking. We all know there is beauty in each of these. But are we finding these beautiful all the time we see them? No, isn’t it? We realize the beauty in each of these only when we take time to notice and explore the intricacies in them thinking they are beautiful. Only when we see them with the thought there is some beauty in this, do we find them beautiful. Without realizing this fact most of us spend money and go in search of beauty, miles away stating “vacation”. How would life be if there was at least an hour of vacation each day!!! Sound good isn’t it? Seems possible too!!!

Is nature alone beautiful? I had a friend whose only intention would be to make all people around him happy. Wherever he goes, he will make sure he brings smiles and laughter. Very beautiful intention isn’t it? I have another friend of mine, who is simply called a “counselor”. He would have a simple solution to whatever problem shared with him. Simply a beautiful minded person!! My parents want me to be happy always. They get me whatever I ask for (to the extent they can). My mom is just happy if I eat her cooked food without wasting a bit. My dad is happy with my simple deed of me giving him a cup of coffee. They never think about their happiness. It is always about my happiness. Great to have parents with such a caring beautiful heart isn’t it? Once when I was traveling in a bus, an old lady got in. She was almost struggling hard to even stand. I gave her my seat and she returned me a smile. I found beauty in her smile. Thinking that smile is beautiful, the next day I kept smiling at all people I met and to my surprise everybody returned their smiles to me and perhaps my eyes found all the smiles beautiful. Was it because I thought all smiles are beautiful? Just then a simple thought struck me. Is it true that all people are beautiful and it is we who don’t take time to notice them just as the stars and the clouds are missed out? Might be true isn’t it?

Don’t all people around us have something beautiful in them? We find some with beautiful thoughts, some with beautiful minds, some people with beautiful hearts, beautiful face, beautiful smile and lots more to explore. However, the hidden truth about beauty is that we can find it only if we have the intention to realize or recognize it. Whatever is seen with the intention that there is some beauty in this will seem beautiful to our eyes. Thus beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder!!!

In life we come across situations or events apart from nature and people. Though most of us don’t accept that our present situation is beautiful, I am sure that each of us could definitely point out at least one beautiful moment in our lives isn’t it? For Example, Sita terms as the most beautiful moment in her life was when she got first mark in 12th Standard. Ram told that his most beautiful moment in his life was when he got his first baby. Rita told her most beautiful moment in life was when her dad told his friend that he is proud to have a daughter like her after she got the “Best Entrepreneur Award”.

Sita was from a middle class family with two sisters, mother and her father suffering from kidney failure. One of her sister was working in a far away place and her other sister was doing her graduation in Pune. In her tender age, she had to carry the responsibility of rendering a moral support to her mom, taking her dad to hospital for dialysis every week, taking care of the bills & expenses and also study. Having accepted everything, she had managed to score first mark in her 12th which she claims to be the happiest moment of her life.

Ram had been in love with his classmate during his college days. He was in heights of happiness whenever he was with her. He felt he had got everything in life. They liked each other’s company. However this did not last long. The girl was from a very orthodox family. As there was rejection in the girl’s family, they decided to accept the fact and live their lives in their own destined paths. Later Ram married the girl his parents wanted and realized that she was the best person he could ever get. Now that, he had experienced the best moment of his life on carrying his first baby in his hands.

There had not been a single day Rita’s dad had been without scolding or pointing out some mistake in whatever she did. He normally chooses words in such a way that it hurt her to the core. Rita accepted that and worked upon all the mistakes her dad pointed out and had got the “Best Entrepreneur Award” which had made her dad proud.

If we notice there will be many beautiful moments in our life but those can happen only through acceptance of our present hard situations. What cannot be changed has to be accepted to proceed realizing the beauty of life. With a belief that each moment in life is happening only to result to a beautiful moment and seeing all things and people around us beautiful, isn’t it true that “Life is Beautiful”?

A true fact to be noticed and recognized by all!!!